I know you might be thinking I'm nuts...but just stay with me for a minute. Have you ever been mad at someone for not say, opening a door for you while you were obviously struggling with your arms full? Or what about when you are sick and the people you expect to be there don't show up? Or maybe you expected someone to come to your defense, but instead they stayed silent? Perhaps a big event happened in your life and the person you care about most didn't do anything to celebrate it with you? What about the person who didn't move over when you were trying to merge onto the freeway?
Oh the possibilities are endless for us to be offended, hurt and even mad at what others DON'T DO. So what DO we do? The first step is recognizing that our expectations of others won't ALWAYS be met. That's just life. Humans are error prone-- even the ones we love the most--they will mess up too, forget our birthday or fail in some other capacity.
We basically need to let others and our loved ones off the hook of "You shoulda, coulda, woulda and now I'm angry," Because it's BEST for US and our relationships. Remember that Satan comes to destroy our relationships too.
John 10:10 The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
If we allow ourselves to become offended and mad at these things, then it opens the door for Satan to get a foot hold on us and eventually, if unchecked, our relationship with that person will be so destroyed that it will be lost all together. Satan has won and we lose.
This is the best antidote to offense...
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."
Read it again. And again. Oh and maybe once more! Ha ha ha. We can never get enough of what LOVE is, I can't anyway.
I suggest trying to memorize it, to hide it in your heart, so that the Holy Spirit can bring it easily to your mind when you need to be reminded of it. That's why it's beneficial to us to memorize scripture--it's the antidote to the poison of Satan and our own wretched ways.
Now I'm not guaranteeing that people won't ever fail you again, but instead sharing the tool (Scriptures) that have helped me the most with being offended. As you can probably tell, I used to struggle with being offended like ONE MILLION times a day by people I didn't even know, to my own hubby. And trust me, you never get anything good out of being offended all the doodle-a-la-day. Instead, exclaim loudly, "I'm NOT easily offended." And smile your biggest, most care-free smile you can dream up. The tricky part is meaning it. But keep 1 Corinthians 13 handy and you will be able to be sincere in no time!
I'm praying God will give you more of His grace, His love and His eyes to see others and that His truth sinks deep in your heart and begins to heal any old offenses that have caused you hurt or harm.
Huge love to you friend!
Tiffany
Tiffany, I praise God to give you such wisdom to share the scriptures.
ReplyDeleteI used to get angry easily (especially to my hubby) when I was similar to your age. But with God's help, I've filled with His peace & happiness. In recent years (I'm just few years younger than your Mom & sometimes I behave much younger than my age - according to my 18 years old daughter), I found myself with "short term memory lost", so I no longer be able to keep angry for something that I can't remember. Ha Ha :-D
By the way, why don't you mention in your blog that you are on Instagram? Anyway, I've just followed you.
God bless you & your family!!!
How about having to work in a team project where there is that one person who ignores you (for whatever reasons)?
ReplyDeleteI prayed to God for help and now I am moved onto another group on the course, but I still have to work with the same people for this project.
I just don't know what the right approach is to the situation..
From my own experiences, I've learnt to first repent in front of God to see if I'd done anything wrong that caused those individuals' reaction towards me; then I ask God's protection and wisdom before I go to work. God's blessing is so powerful that even those individuals still behave the same, their action no longer affect me being professional. I found it's my attitude towards them that have changed.
DeleteTo me, this has been a continue trial (i.e. one colleague left the company then within a very short period of time, another person "took up" the similar attitude), which proofs I need God, everyday, 24/7, to go through difficult tasks in life.
God be with you :-)
gigiwellness28.wordpress.com
That's a tough one friend. Well remember this, we never know what is going on in someone's life--they could have sick loved one, parents divorcing, going through a break up...who knows?! And here you come just hoping to get the job done and it's all crazy. I think you are doing the BEST thing first, Prayer. Continue to pray and ask God to give you His eyes for that person and His wisdom in how to deal with him/her best. I know this is extremely difficult, especially when treated rudely-- to NOT get your feeling hurt by it. But also ask for God to give you more of HIS love that you would abide in it and not be offended by his/her actions. And sadly, there are statistics that says 10% of all people won't like us...maybe he/she is part of that small percentage! Ha ha ha! Then I suggest just being kind, no matter what you get back from them and pray that God would bless them.
DeleteMatthew 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
I'll be praying for you and this situation- that God will bless you both.
Huge love to you friend!
And remember:
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Tiffany
Thank you so much for the support, Tiffany! May God bless you and your family! You're very inspiring :) I have faith things will work out at the end. I'm already starting to discuss the project with that one person :) and my new group is brilliant! I love it!
DeleteIf that one person is ignoring you and you know u didnt offend them in any way ask for their opinion on something concerning the group project , for example, if u ask something and everyone says an input but tht person does not, then ask them for their input. Or it could simply be the person is unhappy doing group work or the person is just ignoring you bcuz they are uncomfortable or you offended them somehow. But some ppl are just rude like that and sometimes you just have to ignore them as well but treat them kindly and that you are aware that they are there..just be respectful and do what you have to do in your project .
ReplyDeleteContinue to pray about ot and try to think positive no matter what !
ReplyDeleteThank you. I will take this in mind.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you!
Love.... It is that vague feeling from an unknown origin, still omnipresent -- which incessantly drives the whole world.
ReplyDeletei accept that u saying
ReplyDeletehttp://hugelove.blogspot.in