Monday, April 23, 2012
Don't get married until you're 40...really?
I think I lost count at how many times people would tell me, "don't get married until your 30 or 40." It was always confusing advice for me to hear, because deep in my own little heart, I couldn't wait to be married and totally in love with my husband. And I personally hated dating, breaking up then dating again. Yuck.
But WHY do people say this to young people in the first place? A few different reasons, for one, they are probably speaking from their OWN mess they have created in THEIR life. They have failed to take responsibility for poor choices they have made and instead try blaming AGE instead of their failure to obey God. Beware of this kind of "advice" as it's usually not good advice at all. If someone can't accept responsibility for their actions, then they are living in De' Nile, land of the irresponsible. Ha ha ha!
Other reasons people say this is because our society as a whole doesn't VALUE family and children. Don't believe me? There are approximately 3,700 abortions performed daily in the U.S (www.abortionno.org). The Bible says in Psalm 127:3 "Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him." But the world views pregnancy like cancer--something you have to get rid of. In the Bible, it says that many children are a blessing. Psalm 127:4-5 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"
But since we are told over and over again, don't get M-A-R-R-I-E-D, just live together. Don't get M-A-R-R-I-E-D, just sleep with your boyfriend/girlfriend...we tend to do this and forfeit our potential blessing.
And there is science behind all this "waiting" which shows it's a detriment (harmful to us). We see people struggling with infertility, miscarriage and other extremely difficult and heartbreaking situations when it comes to having children. Our bodies weren't meant to wait until 40 to have a child.
From WebMD, The risk of giving birth to a child with a birth defect does increase as the mother's age increases. This is probably due to abnormal division of the egg, called nondisjunction. This leads to unequal chromosomes at the end of division. The traditional age at which a woman is considered to be at high risk for chromosomal abnormalities is 35. Approximately 1 in 1,400 babies born from women in their 20's have Down syndrome; it increases to about 1 in 100 babies born with Down syndrome from women in their 40's(webmd.com).
And to me, the most startling data I've read, which is from the University of Chicago's Center for Aging. They recently published a study that examined the family histories of American centenarians (100 years old). The strongest predictor of long life is the age of your mother. If she was 25 or younger, you are most likely to live to 100!!! Crazy right?!
And no, I don't think EVERYONE should get married. But like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:9 "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
God says about marriage: In Hebrews 13:4--Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
So even if you personally don't ever want to get married, we should still honor it and support it as God does. And don't discourage others who aren't 40, not to marry yet. Remember that wisdom DOES NOT come with age, only God gives wisdom as He is the source of all wisdom...and He doesn't age discriminate.
Wanting to get married isn't wrong, it's actually where we come face to face with ourselves as it's a test, trial and blessing. And deserves all the support we can give!
Posted by Tiffany at 5:53 PM