Thursday, January 19, 2012
The number one way NOT to have a blessed relationship
This might be one of the most emailed questions I get…so here I am going to address it.
So if you have found yourself in a dating relationship where you have had sex, which you know is wrong…but now don’t know how to stop and make the relationship honoring to God…this is for you.
First of all, if you have had ANY conviction that sex out of marriage is wrong then you are in better shape than most of the world! Most people think it’s ok, or even think they should have sex BEFORE because they don’t know if they will be “compatible” or not. But we don’t have to worry about “compatibility” because God has designed male and female to come together in a way that makes them “one flesh” and any preferences one might have can be part of the fun that first year of marriage. Sex is a rather basic act in the physical but it’s EXTREMELY complicated emotionally, spiritually and relationally.
Don’t believe me? Just ask someone who slept with their boyfriend and then they broke up, they will know that the pain from that separation was just as real as any other pain yet they never shed one drop of blood or broke a bone…but it’s a real pain from REAL emotional and REAL relational destruction.
Think of sex as fire. And when you have a fire in the fireplace of your home, it’s a wonderful thing—creating warmth, comfort and light. But take that fire out of the fireplace (which is marriage) and you have a fire on the floor in your house—BAD! It has become a dangerous thing to all who are in the home and to the home itself.
So what does one do when they realize they need to make a HUGE change in their relationship…and by the way they now “love” that person who is enjoying the fullness of the joys of marriage without actually BEING married. It’s kind of like stealing in my opinion- taking what isn't rightfully theirs (yet...or maybe ever).
So if you are here, it is time to talk to your significant other and tell them of 1) your Christian views that hold sexual intercourse as sacred and only for marriage 2) that you cannot continue in the relationship as you have previously 3) if they DO want ALL of you, then you need to have a RING and a WEDDING to make it all RIGHT!
This talk might even need to be the end of the relationship as you might find out that your boyfriend 1) isn’t interested in sharing your faith (total deal breaker anyway!) 2) doesn’t want to change anything because they are getting “all the milk for free without having to buy the cow” 3) perhaps is too immature to man up and leave his mommy and daddy and be a man.
All of those responses are EXCELLENT reasons to leave that turd in the grass and head out for God’s best for you! And in the next relationship, you can set the boundary FIRST that you won’t be sleeping with him and THEMS-THE-RULES. It’s always easier to keep a boundary that hasn’t been broken. You CAN re-establish a boundary but it’s extremely difficult and both people have to be in agreement. But it IS POSSIBLE.
And know that God can forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness, but repentance (which means a turning away) requires a CHANGE in behavior. God forgives and out of a sincere heart, we make a change to not continue in that sinful behavior --whatever that may be.
Remember that as soon as we get out ourselves in obedience to God, we can receive His blessing. God BLESSES obedience, not disobedience. So why not obey and get every good blessing He has in store! That’s what I’m talking about!!! Ha ha ha! I want EVERY blessing God has for me--I think it's okay to be greedy in this one instance! Ha ha ha!
Posted by Tiffany at 10:30 PM