This might be one of the most emailed questions I get…so here I am going to address it.
So if you have found yourself in a dating relationship where you have had sex, which you know is wrong…but now don’t know how to stop and make the relationship honoring to God…this is for you.
First of all, if you have had ANY conviction that sex out of marriage is wrong then you are in better shape than most of the world! Most people think it’s ok, or even think they should have sex BEFORE because they don’t know if they will be “compatible” or not. But we don’t have to worry about “compatibility” because God has designed male and female to come together in a way that makes them “one flesh” and any preferences one might have can be part of the fun that first year of marriage. Sex is a rather basic act in the physical but it’s EXTREMELY complicated emotionally, spiritually and relationally.
Don’t believe me? Just ask someone who slept with their boyfriend and then they broke up, they will know that the pain from that separation was just as real as any other pain yet they never shed one drop of blood or broke a bone…but it’s a real pain from REAL emotional and REAL relational destruction.
Think of sex as fire. And when you have a fire in the fireplace of your home, it’s a wonderful thing—creating warmth, comfort and light. But take that fire out of the fireplace (which is marriage) and you have a fire on the floor in your house—BAD! It has become a dangerous thing to all who are in the home and to the home itself.
So what does one do when they realize they need to make a HUGE change in their relationship…and by the way they now “love” that person who is enjoying the fullness of the joys of marriage without actually BEING married. It’s kind of like stealing in my opinion- taking what isn't rightfully theirs (yet...or maybe ever).
So if you are here, it is time to talk to your significant other and tell them of 1) your Christian views that hold sexual intercourse as sacred and only for marriage 2) that you cannot continue in the relationship as you have previously 3) if they DO want ALL of you, then you need to have a RING and a WEDDING to make it all RIGHT!
This talk might even need to be the end of the relationship as you might find out that your boyfriend 1) isn’t interested in sharing your faith (total deal breaker anyway!) 2) doesn’t want to change anything because they are getting “all the milk for free without having to buy the cow” 3) perhaps is too immature to man up and leave his mommy and daddy and be a man.
All of those responses are EXCELLENT reasons to leave that turd in the grass and head out for God’s best for you! And in the next relationship, you can set the boundary FIRST that you won’t be sleeping with him and THEMS-THE-RULES. It’s always easier to keep a boundary that hasn’t been broken. You CAN re-establish a boundary but it’s extremely difficult and both people have to be in agreement. But it IS POSSIBLE.
And know that God can forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness, but repentance (which means a turning away) requires a CHANGE in behavior. God forgives and out of a sincere heart, we make a change to not continue in that sinful behavior --whatever that may be.
Remember that as soon as we get out ourselves in obedience to God, we can receive His blessing. God BLESSES obedience, not disobedience. So why not obey and get every good blessing He has in store! That’s what I’m talking about!!! Ha ha ha! I want EVERY blessing God has for me--I think it's okay to be greedy in this one instance! Ha ha ha!
Huge hugs,
Tiffany
Thank you for sharing. You know it hit home
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing and I hope someone reads this and it touches their heart, so they don't have to learn this the hard way....like I did. Blessing are not on their way when you do things the wrong way...and I know how much it hurts! huge hugs sister! I wish people would start a new trend of being modest and waiting til marriage! Come back Jonas brothers and your promise rings!
ReplyDeleteI love these kinds of posts! It's so refreshing and comforting to hear about people who still believe in abstinence until marriage. Even some of my Christian friends are saying they're sick of being "good" and that they're tempted to sleep around one night. Seriously?! It can get so discouraging when it seems like everyone around you is caving in.
ReplyDeleteTo anonymous: Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3) People don't always plan babies, but God ALWAYS has a plan for the little ones he creates. "Mistake" or "accident" isn't in His vocabulary.
Even though I'm married already, I find this very inspiring and great! You and your sister are awesome! Keep up the good work; I love reading and watching your videos.
ReplyDeleteThanks friends for all of your insightful comments, I really love reading them and I am encouraged too by your faith! Iron sharpens iron!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you all with the fullness of His blessing that it OVERWHELMS you and spills over!!!
thank you for posting this!!! :) this is wonderful. i love the fire analogy!
ReplyDeleteMy current husband and i did have sex before we were married. We felt really terrible about it (we are both Christians). It was hard to completely stop.. but we did. We made a commitment (before we got engaged) and repented. We were broken before the Lord and asked for His forgiveness and restoration. From the time we made that commitment to the time we got married was a year.
Our wedding night was perfect! We knew that God was blessing us. We knew that God intended sex for marriage and that He completely had forgiven us. We now have been married for 5 months today and i am still sooo glad for our decision to wait and repent. :)
I pray that more women will see the beauty in waiting for your wedding day. :)